


Loud and Clear

by MeganMoonlight



Category: Breakfast with Scot (2007)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Canon Gay Relationship, Established Relationship, Feels, Insecurity, M/M, Relationship Discussions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-05 19:51:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4192773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeganMoonlight/pseuds/MeganMoonlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Eric called him "Sammy," Sam didn't expect it at all. Eric always managed to surprise him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loud and Clear

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lil_1337](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lil_1337/gifts).



Sam Miller packed his lunch and carefully put the folders with paperwork in his briefcase. He felt giddy and right from the moment he had opened his eyes in the morning he couldn’t keep himself from smiling. He really felt like nothing could ruin his mood that day and just thinking about it made him smile.

He had talked to Eric on the phone the day before. Eric had came back from his physical therapy and the doctor had told him that he made a lot of progress. It was what Eric had wanted to share with Sam in the evening, as soon as he got back home, and the relief and happiness he could hear in the other man’s voice was evident.

The fact that Eric wanted to talk to him about it made Sam feel important.

The beginning of their relationship was… rocky, if Sam were to choose a word to describe it. Eric had a lot to go through, with his physical, as well as with emotional recovery after the accident. More than that, he wasn’t the most open person Sam had met in his life. Most of the time he had spent in his apartment watching something, until he had to go grocery shopping or to the doctor, and as far as Sam knew, it had mostly started after the accident. Sam knew all that and he didn’t mind, really. He enjoyed spending time with Eric, doesn’t matter where they were. Yes, he hoped he would be able to go to a nearby park and just walk around with Eric, or just go to a restaurant together, but if spending time only in Eric’s apartment meant Eric was more comfortable with everything, why would it be a problem?

So yes, Sam had some time to get used to Eric’s ways. They haven’t officially gone out yet, even though it was almost seven months since they had met and four since Eric had kissed him for the first time. Which was exactly why he was pleasantly surprised when Eric had called him and asked if Sam wanted to “hang out,” or go somewhere to eat. He had sounded nervous when he asked and Sam could just imagine him clenching the hem of his shirt or drumming his fingers against the table, but he still couldn’t help smiling as he agreed. 

They had agreed to meet at the Italian restaurant Sam’s friend had recommended after Sam was finished with his work. Eric had said he wasn’t doing anything else that day, so it would work for them both. It was really difficult not to be at least a bit excited about the date and not even Mrs. Riley, who complained every time she had came to talk to Sam, could manage to ruin his mood, really.

He had focused on his job first, he always did, he was a professional after all, but once in a while he caught himself looking at his watch and counting the hours until he will be able to leave. It did not help much, but fortunately the fact that he was kept busy had somehow shortened the waiting period. When he and his boss finally finalized one case, he was able to leave. After he filed all the documents he said goodbye to Jenny, his secretary, and left the building, a smile not disappearing from his face for even a second.

When he finally appeared in front of the restaurant, which was actually more of a diner, really, he was five minutes late. Eric was nowhere to be seen, but Sam was familiar with the man’s tendency to be late. Sometimes it took him minutes to even open the door to his apartment, so Sam decided to just wait a bit.

Only when he ended up standing in front of the building for the next forty-five minutes, he realized that Eric probably wasn’t coming after all. He had checked his phone once again to make sure he hadn’t missed any texts or calls, but seeing nothing there, he sighed. 

He wasn’t even angry or disappointed when he took a cab home. He felt resigned more than anything else. After all he knew how obsessive and paranoid Eric was about being seen in public. They had talked about it more than once when Eric, in his own words, had tried to explain it to him. But all of it was exactly why he was ecstatic about this date in the first place. Sam also found out he wasn’t even surprised by what had happened, which was what had made him feel uncomfortable, mostly. He thought… well, it didn’t matter what he thought anymore, he guessed.

Checked his phone for the last time when he got in a cab, Sam tried not to think about it anymore. He was still hungry, but didn’t really feel like eating out anymore.

***

Sam was sitting on the couch, a plate of pasta with tomato sauce and a glass of orange juice laid unfinished on the table, right next to the stack of folders he had took out from his briefcase. He decided to just stay home and since it looked like he had a lot of time after all, take some time to go through paperwork for his new cases and make some notes. At least he won’t have to do it the next day and will be able focus on the research.

As soon as he put one file aside and took a sip of the orange juice he heard his phone buzzing. He glanced at it briefly, and after a while picked it up. It was Eric.

For a moment Sam felt the urge to just ignore it and get back to the paperwork, but he just couldn’t. It just wasn’t him to ignore problems. Also, he wasn’t a teenager who got upset by every little thing that goes wrong in a relationship. Well, hopefully it _was_ a relationship.

And Eric seemed to be very persistent in his calling.

“Hello?” Sam answered the phone after the fourth ring.

“Sam?”

Sam leaned back against the couch and closed his eyes, suddenly feeling tired. “What is it, Eric?”

“I… I just… I didn’t mean to. I really didn’t.”

When Eric did not say anything else after that, Sam sighed. ‘Didn’t mean what?’ he wanted to ask. Didn’t mean to not show up? Didn’t mean to forget to call to say he won’t show up? Or didn’t mean asking Sam out in the first place? But he knew it wouldn’t lead anywhere in the long run, so he just exhaled and opened his eyes, looking at the table.

“It’s fine,” he ended up saying. “At least I managed to catch up with paperwork for the next days.”

His answer seemed to surprise Eric, because the silence on the other end of the line got a bit overwhelming, but when the other man started talking again, he still sounded apologetic, his voice quiet.

“I really wanted to be there.”

“I told you it’s okay. There will be other times. We can always eat something at your place, like usual.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Not this week,” Sam replied, still looking at the pile of notes and folders on the table, wondering what to say. “I could have made it today because we finished on time, but we just got a new case and the rest of the week will be busy. We need to prepare everything as soon as possible, so I don’t think I’ll have much time until Sunday evening. How about next week?”

“Right. That’s cool. Sure,” Eric mumbled and this time Sam could clearly hear how crushed he was.

“I promise you, I’m not angry, okay?” Sam said, hoping it will reassure Eric a bit. He really hated hearing the other man sounding like he had no idea what to do next, so lost and regretful. “We just want to be prepared, because it’s a big case. After we finalize everything I’ll be free for a day or two, I think.”

“I know. Sorry. I won’t disturb you anymore. Just let me know when you can get some time off?”

“I will.”

After they hung up, Sam rubbed his eyes tiredly. He told Eric the truth. He really wasn’t angry at him. He didn’t even think he was able to actually get angry at the other man. Defeated would be a better word for it, if Sam were to analyze his feelings, which he definitely won’t do. After all of their conversations Sam had just hoped Eric would at least try, it was only a dinner after all. 

He shook his head, took a sip of the orange juice again and got back to work.

***

It was only about two hours later when Sam heard knocking on the door.

He was nearly done with re-reading everything, and when he looked at his watch he realized that it all had taken much more time than he assumed, not counting the few breaks he’d taken to clear his head.

He was more tired than he expected. It was a long day and he wondered who would want to visit him since he didn’t remember talking to anyone about it. Maybe it was Mrs. Grace, one of his neighbors, who almost constantly needed help with something. The person outside knocked on the door again, a bit harder this time, but he still probably wouldn’t have heard it if he’d been watching anything. Sam put the folder he was holding on the table and went to see who was knocking.

At first he wanted to tell whoever it was that he was busy - he wasn’t in the mood for any guests - but when he opened the door and saw Eric standing there, Sam was more than a bit surprised.

Eric was holding two bags of what looked like take-out, one can of beer and one soda.

When Sam looked at his face, his expression was one he’d never seen before. Eric looked miserable. He looked down at the floor for a moment, probably wondering what to say, but when he looked up again, he sighed quietly. He seemed to be uncomfortable.

“I messed up. I know that. I just… I brought take-out from that Italian place. They were still open. Chicken with cream sauce and vegetables,” he said quietly, glancing around briefly, as if to see if anyone was looking at them. He must have noticed Sam staring at him then, because he recovered quickly and tightened the grip on the bags. “Can I come in?”

Sam glanced at the take-out bags and noticed how Eric’s shoulders hunched slightly when he didn’t answer. The other man made a move as in he wanted to leave, looking disappointed and for a moment Sam felt bad for not replying. He stopped him, catching one bag gently to not rip it. 

“Come in,” Sam said, stepping back to let Eric in.

After the door closed, Eric looked around the place curiously, which didn’t really surprise Sam much. Eric haven’t been inside his apartment before, only had seen the building while they were walking down the street, after Sam had talked him into taking a walk. Now he seemed to not know what to do first, take off his jacket or come in and unpack. He looked at Sam silently, then at the living room, and he finally put the bags down to take off his jacket.

“Come in to the living room, I will… I will bring us forks.”

As he entered the kitchen he could feel Eric following him with his eyes. Even as they sat on the couch a minute or two later, Eric kept glancing at him from time to time, before he finally put his plate down, he barely touched the food, and turned to him.

“Sam… are you angry? At me, I mean?”

Sam took a bite of his chicken before putting his plate next to Eric’s. He swallowed and leaned back against the couch, not looking at the other man. He didn’t want to say anything wrong. Which was pretty silly, considering the fact he wasn’t the one who should be worried about that. 

“No. Not really. I told you I’m not,” he answered finally, only then looking at Eric. Only now Sam noticed how uncomfortable Eric looked, just sitting there, waiting for his answer. “I just thought that we could spend some time together, go somewhere and just… be. That you were finally comfortable enough with yourself, I guess. Or something. I… I don’t really know.”

“But I am. I am comfortable,” Eric said hurriedly, moving a bit closer to him, placing one hand on Sam’s knee. “Or, you know. About you. And me. Us, I mean. I really am. It’s just, there was a crowd. It was loud and I’m not really…”

“I know, Eric,” Sam interrupted him, sighing. “It’s okay. I know you’re not ready. I already told you I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do or make you uncomfortable.”

They sat there for a while in silence, before Eric leaned against him, fitting his head between Sam’s neck and shoulder, and Sam let him. He wrapped his arms around Eric loosely, bringing them closer together, so that Eric’s hands were on his waist, holding on the material of his dress shirt, as he pillowed his head on Sam’s shoulder. Sam could feel a warm, slightly rapid breathing on his neck, as he turned to press a kiss to the top of Eric’s head gently.

He could hear Eric breathing, a bit uneven, and only tightened his hold on the man. It was obvious how affected he was by all of this and how badly he felt right then. They sat there wrapped around each other, their breathing and the sounds of cars outside the only sounds they could hear, as their food was cooling down, almost forgotten.

“I love you, Sammy.”

It was spoken so softly, but to Sam it was perfectly loud and clear. 

Eric had never called him ‘Sammy’ before. Neither he or Eric were into pet names, really, and Eric could count on the fingers of one hand people who called him that in general, and every single time he had to reminded each of them that he didn’t like it. When Eric said, it, however, enclosing all the emotions in just one word, Sam realized he didn’t mind at all. Eric always managed to say Sam’s name in a way that made Sam want to wrap his arms around him and not let go. And now? 

“You do know I love you, right?” Eric murmured after a while when Sam didn’t answer, his voice shaking slightly, his breath hot on Sam’s skin. “I tried, I wanted to meet you there. I went there earlier, but people started looking at me and talking to me and I just… doesn’t matter. Shit. I know I fucked up.”

“Eric…”

“No, Sammy. I know I did. And this time no one even had to tell me that. You really wanted to go there and I know you were waiting for it.”

He felt Eric’s hands tightening on his shirt, and he exhaled quietly. He wasn’t really sure what to say. Yes, he was sad and disappointed, but seeing the other man like that, so crushed. It just made him tighten his hold on Eric and kissed his hair again.

“You never called me that before,” he said, breaking the silence.

“Sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I know you don’t like it…” when Eric said that Sam felt a small smile tugging at his lips. There were moments when Eric could be irritating and Sam didn’t understand him at all, moments which made Sam groan in frustration, but other times, like this one, he would say something sweet and very compassionate. Every time Eric had said “he wasn’t thinking” about something he ended up doing or saying something that made Sam want to kiss him. 

“No, I do, actually. Well, not when Billy calls me that, but this time, it was surprisingly nice. I just wasn’t expecting it.”

Eric looked up at him then. His hands stopping kneading Sam’s shirt, but he moved one to place it on Sam’s hip, the second one on Sam’s knee, and through the denim of his jeans Sam could feel how warm Eric was.

“I know I disappointed you,” he said. “But I promise, I will try to… get better at this. Because you deserve the best, and I want to give you that. If you’ll have me. If I didn’t fuck up too badly.”

“No, you didn’t, Eric. I already told you that. Twice,” Sam put one hand on Eric’s, the one laying on his knee, and entwining their fingers together. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. But I’m here if you need help, okay?”

“Thanks. You’re… you’re the best thing that happened to me.”

Sam kissed him then. It was a slow and gentle kiss and when Eric moved back slightly, he looked into Sam’s eyes.

Only then a small smile appeared on Eric’s face, and it seemed he was finally more relaxed and definitely relieved. They sat there, Sam wasn’t even sure how long and he didn’t care much, just enjoying each other’s closeness, before Eric glanced at the forgotten take-out on the table.

“I‘ll go warm it up,” he stood up, snagging both plates at the same time, and went to the kitchen. Sam stayed in place, waiting for the other man to get back. Only after Eric sat back down and handed Sam his plate, they turned on the TV, and Eric chose some kind of a show about funny videos, which seemed to be his latest favorite, besides the hockey games. 

They kept eating, Eric occasionally stopping to touch Sam’s hand gently, which made Sam smile every single time.

“You know, we could do something next Saturday,” Eric said, not looking away from the TV. “Together. Weekend at my place. You could stay over.”

“Eric, you don’t have to prove anything to me.”

“I know I don’t. I might have… asked the waiter for the recipe for the chicken? When I was getting the take-out. She said they can’t, but I gave her my autograph and, yeah. Maybe we could try to cook it ourselves? If you want. I’m shit at cooking, we both know that, but why not? I couldn’t remember if you were working or had any plans already, but we could change the date, I guess.”

“The whole weekend?” Sam blinked and Eric shrugged.

“Yeah. I’ll go grocery shopping and everything. And we could watch a game together. Or some of your films,” he replied quietly and Sam shook his head, but still smiled.

“You have everything planned already, don’t you?”

Eric rolled his eyes, glancing at his food. “So?”

“I’m free on Saturday. We’ll hopefully be done with everything and I won’t have to finish anything (at) home. Should I come on Saturday or rather Friday evening? Since you seem to have a plan already…”

“Saturday. Unless you want to help me clean up, but I guess you’d rather relax after work,” Eric said and smiled. This time he sounded more sure of himself. He turned his head to look Sam in the eyes and squeezed his fingers gently. 

“We’ll see how tired I’ll be, okay?”

Eric nodded. “I love you, Sammy.”

“I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Round 17 of [Smallfandomfest](http://smallfandomfest.livejournal.com/) for the prompt Eric/Sam - _"The first time Eric called Sam, Sammy."_
> 
> Here is a third fic for _Breakfast with Scot_. I simply can't stay away, I love those characters so much! Also, my works for this fandom get longer and longer. It's fun!  
>  This fic is dedicated to the amazing **[lil-1337](http://lil-1337.livejournal.com/).  
> **  
>  Enjoy!
> 
> **Thanks for beta to **[lil-1337](http://lil-1337.livejournal.com/)**.**
> 
> Also can be found **[*HERE*](http://megan-moonlight.livejournal.com/590559.html)**


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